I think what was suddenly so appealing about drawing when I was working on Between Two Thoughts was the momentum behind it, that it encouraged a continual push toward the edges. And I could work very intuitively. I could just pick up a piece of paper and a pen and work for hours, until I was literally falling asleep and drooling on my drawing, and then wake up and do more.
Now I’m trying to see how that translates into painting and colour, which add certain complications. Especially while trying to see this Horse.
More trouble sleeping.
So I found some things.
This wasn’t a terrible way to spend my time, but I think next time I will force myself into the studio. I have so many things waiting to be finished. Or waiting to be started.
I’ve never actually ridden a horse, and have only on a few occasions stood near one. The closest I have come to a horse is an elephant, which was quite a thing, but not the same thing as riding what you imagine in your little girl brain to be your bestest soulmate friend ever. It’s a cliche. I know. And I could list all the ways that I have challenged ideas about gender and “went my own way”, or whatever. It seems a bit defensive.
Truth be told, when I eventually ride a horse for the first time, I may cry my eyes out.
In the meantime, we all dream and I try to understand my piano.